Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
