the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
