I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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