They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
