If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
