I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i think i just lost a toe
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
