Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Buhtt sex?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
