i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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