made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
