he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
