remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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