He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
