And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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