I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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