I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
