I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Randomize
