it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
