But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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