We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
That accounts for only three of the penises
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Randomize
