Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Fuck appropriateness.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
