I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
