dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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