its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
