if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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