What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
