They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
