that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
