Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
