I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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