At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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