Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
