Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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