is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
