I'm jealous of your bromance
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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