best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
