if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
