So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
