I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
