Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
