Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
