he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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