you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
