He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
