i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My bed smells like the plague
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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