Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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