he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
