his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
