You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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