is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
