dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Reggie can tackle my bush.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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